Tuesday and Fridays became my therapy days. Like clock work I would get up at 6:30 and go shower (can I get an amen ladies?) Even if it was just the doctor I was seeing, because I mean, come on…
We started doing ESTIM, which for those of you who do not know, ESTIM therapy when treating vaginismus is a small probe that goes in the vagina. It has metal on the sides and is hooked to a machine, it then produced an electric current that is meant to desensitize the nerves that were firing all over the place. I was able to control the intensity of the current with a button that I had.
After ESTIM we did some finger sweeps and stretching. My husband came with me and was learning how to do this at home, so we could do it every day. Some days were easier than others, especially when I relaxed and did my kegels!
Therapy became part of my life, at this point I had made my condition public via social media because I was tired of feeling ashamed or like something was wrong with me… I figured that there were other women out there and if I would educate them or encourage them in anyway, then that’s what I wanted to do!
I had been going to PT for over a month when I lost my job. My husband and i were already paying for it out of pocket, so we started freaking out. Dr. W explained that we could cut back our visits to once a week, and that I could even rent the ESTIM machine and use it every day, twice a day at home! so that’s what we did. for the next month, I used it religiously. My husband did stretching, I did everything I was suppose to do.
I had finally worked up to Billy. (Billy is what my gf named my blue dilator, bc all of the dilators were te color of a power ranger. Dont ask.) I had to use Kimberly first, I could never just use Billy initially… but I didn’t care! I was so stoked about finally getting up to the largest dilator, I didn’t care what I had to do to make it happen. (penis pops anyone? YES! Condoms filled with water and then frozen… to help numb me…)
I had made all the progress I could make with the dilators. There was only one thing left to do.